Thursday, 9 February 2017

Meeting with doc

Early disclaimer, no one read my blog unless they googled me and that's why I got the balls to post this haha.

Here's a small post just about that one special person. Doc.

Today I went out with him and spend a lot of time together. Honestly speaking, I didn't even realize how the time flies. It's just amazing how you're so into a person that you don't notice how your surrounding changes.

I'm pretty observant tbh. And I still remember (I always remember) that you don't travel to KL sentral by ERL from your place because well, it's expensive, the fare. And knowing you, not that it's a bad thing because dad is like that also but you're always reluctant to spend your money on things eventhough you splurge it on your shoes (haha)

When you told me that you're seeing the dude to COD, I automatically assume 'ah maybe he put it in extra for your travel money like the last buyer' but no. You spend it to COD at NU sentral and meet me. I think I'm pretty narcissist for thinking that you're doing this for me when in fact you just wanna find a buyer or something after the issue. (The dude)
However, if you did it because you wanna see me, I'm really grateful for that because man, despite how nice and 'quiet' of you, you're actually pretty stubborn hehe.

I don't ask for much and don't expect anything grant from our relationship. But I honestly appreciate how at times you're thoughtful at me at times I don't expect it because really doc, you jarang kayy show it to me how you feel or tell me things that made me realize just how much you think of me. That's why I really really appreciate it when you suddenly surprised me with things eventhough I'm not at present with you at the time. Which also why I kinda 'ungkit'(playfully) about the thing I once asked you about for confirmation about a thing you did to someone. It kinda hurts to know that really :')

I'm selfish at times I admit. Selfish of you hahaha. And I'm pretty shitty sometimes like when I overthink stuffs and keep it in until I burst and let it out emotionally (I'm working on it) and I think that's just some of 'em (apologize). For that, I'm grateful that you're accepting of me even when I know I'm so selekeh dulu and also at times now. And also how maybe I did annoying things to you

I write this, to say that im glad the 'you' here is you, doc. You're among the best person that has encountered into my life :)

Anyway, if words wanna describe how I feel towards you and what I know, what I hope and what I believe.. it'll take a longer post than this one here. And that, is something to look forward to ;)

Cheers to my soulmate

Wednesday, 25 January 2017

Different perspective

Let me talk about love kinda.

Love comes in many form. But this is about the love that grows into you when you unintentionally or intentionally seek for them. In other words, towards your partner.

Being in love truly is a wonderful feeling.
Heads over the clouds,
Everything looks possible,
Hope and dreams becomes reachable.

While being in love truly is a wonderful feeling, it also can hurt you. While other things may also hurt you, love do it in a way where words can't describe it.

Hurt where you've been missing that person and it kinda hurts because you can't do anything to it.

Hurt where you see something and pretends that you're fine with it although you're not. While you're hurt because of it, you just can't and won't say it because then, you'll create a non existent problem.

Hurt where you wants something perhaps the attention or care that you need but you're not given from them.

Hurt where all of the accumulating factors that troubles you time over time again that it tires you out.

What people need to understand is that, being in love is not just living in that moment of joy but ignore the problems or difficulties. When you're in one, being in love alone is not enough. Effort should be made. In order for a relationship to be successful, there must be trust and by that, trust should be built. How can one hold something if you yourself do not consider why and how to hold on to it?

It takes two to make it work. It doesn't take only one person.

Truly, above all, patience is always the key but know when to let go.

Sunday, 8 January 2017

Blank Space

You know sometimes when you lie on your bed just doing absolutely nothing?
Thoughts came through you and fill in your head
Thoughts of things or life

Have you lie on your bed lazily on a day not doing anything, just scrolling your phone through social media, play with your cats, eat and lie again on your bed.
Those days don't happened always but when it does, it makes you thinking
How short life is
I'll share what I think

At that time when i lazily lie on my back on the bed, i stare to the wall.
It's a wall. What do you expect? Just white and blank. A blank space
A blank space is what keeps you wondering deeper because it doesn't require an imagination around it. Just deeper on things circling around in your head.

Here's what I think.
I think life is short. An hour pass by just like a drop of water to the ocean
It's fast, unnoticeable.

Life is really short. You may thinks it's not but truthfully it is.
As a person, it's normal to have dreams. To have things you want to achieve. To have a desire you want to let out. To have the courage to do something.
Sadly, a lot of people don't do them. We hide in a corner and stay there in our comfort zone.

Life is short, go out and embrace the feelings. You want to go and dance around? Then go. Do it,
There's a person you've been holding back your feelings to? Go and confess. You will lose nothing.
You're afraid of people's judgement and comment? Don't give a damn about their words. People will talk about you anyway whether you do something or not. That's just people.
The difference would be just whether you'll lose nothing or you'll gain nothing.
Gaining is better than losing am I right?
Doing things you want won't make you lose anything. You won't regret it I promise.
If you're too afraid because it's your comfort zone and people have known you as someone they 'normally' perceived... just go with it. It'll be a damn good ride throughout of it.

Life is really short. You won't notice the time you've wasted now until you are old and regrets succumbs you.

It's embarrassing and scary all around but hey, it'll be worth the shot.
Be brave, be bold.